Onepiece adventure
by Mintyfreshpurplehaze
Summary: My side to my friend sunzi's story..I suck at summaries so don't hate me. What happens when we own Sanji and Zoro and then get captured by Superman, Batman,and The Flash or the Vaseline team. I don't own one peice, please R&R I need to feel loved.
1. Chapter 1

my uh side version to S.E.'s story.

diclaimer: I don't on One Peice or my friend as I'll address her as Sunzi, but I do own me and since everybody in this fanfic has weird names I'll add my other nickname Shamy heheheheheh R&R please

hope you enjoy.

a little decription of us both.

Sunzi: green hair, purple eyes, red shirt that says fangirl, nightblue shorts.

Shamy: some color hair, glasses so you can't see what color my eyes are, striped black and white shirt,lavender overalls with a panda on the front that have many pockets.

chapter slaves

On the brightest day, two girls of a young age, wandered cluelessly through the strange world of One Peice.

"It's hot, I'm scared, where are the hot guys, how'd we get here?" I asked my friend, Sunzi, who was comfortably lying on the hot sand.

"I don't know...PATATO!" She screamed as a ship came to the shore and 5 people jumped off.

"Why are we stopping here, the people from these lands are crazy?"Ussopp whined walking waaayyyy behind and slowly.

"Because,... we need more food."Sanji answered lighting another cigarette.

"We wouldn't have to stop every 2 days if Luffy wouldn't keep going for a midnight snack." Zoro snaped at his captain who was having a fantasy that turkeys was dancing around him.

Nami looked over to Luffy and taped him on the shoulder,"Uh, Luffy, your drooling all over the sand and your shirt and...AAAAGGGGHHHHH." Luffy had Nami's finger in between his teeth.Zoro came up and punched him in the back of the head but he still had her finger in his mouth.

"Hey Shamy did you hear something."Sunzi asked looking in all directions for clues of where the scream came from.

"No it's too...hot...to...SANJI" He turned his head at the sound of his name to see me running full speed towards him.

"Oh Shamy its just your...ZORO!"Sunzi caught up with me and we both clung ourselves around their waste. I got my hand slapped when I reached for his butt. Zoro was chasing Sunzi around welling,"Hey! gimme my sword back" followed by a,"Mine." from Sunzi.

Ussopp grabbed both of us and set us in front of luffy looking stupider than ever with nami's finger stuck in between his teeth.

"...Oh sorry Nami, who are you 2?" Luffy asked, setting Nami free by her finger.

"I'm Sunzi,PATATO"

"I'm Shamy."

"You got any meat?"

"Yeah hold on." I checked all of my pockets and pulled some jerky out the 5th to last pocket.

"Thanks."

"No problem, but there is a cost."I snickered

"What." Little food particles flew from his mouth all the away onto Nami's shirt who was standing right behind us. o

"We own Zoro and Sanji until otherwise."

"Okay"

"What?"Zoro and Sanji said together before fainting.

...15 minutes later

"Who is grabbing my butt?"Sanji said in a monotone voice as he sat up,"Would you cut that out"

"Your so cute when you yell,"I said still stroking his butt,"I like your butt. heheheheh."

"Wow your hair is soft, I'm sure you won't mind if I take a strand of hair."Sunzi said pulling a big patch of hair off Zoro's head so that he was balled in the middle.

"Luffy give me your hat."Zoro snatched his hat and put it on top of his head.

"Honk, Honk" I said grabbing his butt some more.

"WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT YOU LITTLE WEIRDO."Sanji yell.

"Don't raise your voice at me I own you."

"As a token of your being I'll take your shirt as a gift."Sunzi ripped Zoro's shirt off that revealed a nice firm chest and 12 pack of Pepsi, kidding, it was 6 pack.

"Ooohhhhh, what's under your shirt." I ripped Sanji's shirt off and wraped my self in it, inhaling the sweet smell of him. I looked up and melted, into a pool of nothing you'd never want to stand in, at the sight of Sanji's sexy tanned chest.

We were leaking drool bubbles. Our property just stared at us gaping over them.0o 0o

"Well, Nami and Ussopp, lets go get what we came here to." They followed behind Luffy into the town, leaving us alone with Sanji and Zoro.

Hope you liked reveiw and read what happens next when I type it down. OOOhhhh what happens?


	2. Chapter 2

chap . 2

Sanji and Zoro sat next to us, boredly. I wasn't too bored, I mean who doesn't want to enhale what Sanji exhales. Zoro took his hair back from sunzi and was trying to glue it back on his head with superglue. Sunzi was taking pictures of him while he did this.

"How come you didn't go Gaga over me when We showed up?" I asked looking sort of jealous.

"Now how old are you gee I don't know in your early teens, I'm prettymuch way old for you."he said making a really good point.

"Age is just a number...WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

"NO."

"Wanna cook something in the kitchen."

"Shamy! I can't beleive you'd ask something like that. Shame on you.SHAME!" Sunzi yelled at me.

"FINE! can I watch you take a shower and wash yo..,"

"SHAMY!"

"Wait a moment, I own you, take your cloths off all of them."

"grrrr,Shamy."

"Fine, you can keep your boxers on."

"Accually I wear G-string."

"EVEN BETTER!"

He started to take his cloths off. I was soaking wet in drool as he took his time undressing his pants.

"I want you to do some cool things with your swords until you sweat."Sunzi chirped, hearts coming from...somewhere. He sighed And started doing swordsmen stuff, which I could care less about.

"That's not true, What about link,Cloud,Trunks,Sora,okay that's a key,Zero, and yungSung hhmmmmm."sunzi yell turning her attention to me.

"Say it louder, I don't think the WORLD heard you yet." I yelled.

"Who are all those people?"Sanji asked pg 13 naked.

"Oh just some hot guys/robot I like who have swords/key/sabers. It was really hard getting close to Zero and it was really hard trying to get to Trunks since he flys,now I regrete killing peterpan, the friendly fag. Ohhh you look good, I wanna taste you, so get over here so I can lick you, and put a barcode on your back."

"Okay your sweating now teach me how to use a sword.SHAMY! what did I tell you about licking people?"

"Nothing.aww come on let me just pull this down an..."

"Shamy, your not a slut don't you lick his butt or jackpot, or anything else."

"Who are you my motha."

"If I was, yo butt would be tour up right now."

I put my tounge back in my mouth and just stared into his eyes, I beleived if I stared at him and acted like a woman shood he'd like me, if plan B didn't work then off to plan R...rape.note: I'm not a slut...me I just like to look when I get the chance cause I'm in Virginia

excuse me if I get everything about how to hold or hit someone with a sword wrong I'll try my best. If you have any info about swords let me know.

"Okay stand like this, with the foot you don't start with when you walk in front."Zoro said showing her how to stand. She followed.

"Shouldn't this be just like karate, Sunzi?"

"Dunno."she replied.

"Okay so just swing and there you go."he said quickly swinging his sword.Sunzi swung Zoro's sword and it slipped out of her hands. It flew strait for my head and out of shock I stayed steal and it went right pass me.

"WTF, I KNOW I'M ACTING UP BUT THANG YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO TAKE MY HEAD OFF." I snaped.

"Sorry Shamy it slipped."

"Your big pole stick never slips."

"It's a bow or however you spell it not a pole."she corrected

"Whatever, Sanji may I brush your hair, it's a little messy?"I asked.

"Are you sure you don't want to order me to sit down so you can brush my hair."he smartly said.

"Look, maybe I wasn't clear enough, MAY I BRUSH YOUR HAIR."i said irritably, I have patience for no one.

"Whatever."He answered

"What's your favorite color, Zoro?"Sunzi asked.

"I don't like colors."He answered annoyed.

"Do you like me?"She asked again.

"No."

"Why"

"Because your annoying."

"But I love you...and your hair."

"And?"

"Please don't reject me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Like I care."

"That adittude only makes me what you more."

"I thought this was suppose to be a humor fic not romance."

"Well we're two crazed fans."

With each strand of hair i brushed out it was collected in a jar for my cloning experiment even though I'm stupidier than a useless matress. The sky became gray as a big highyellow ship came ashore and 3 people jumped out.the three are batman, flash, Superman They were all in colored tights.The one with a red cape step up towards us.

"You stupid idiots...You should of fleed now we kidnape you and sacrifice you to the thunder lord, For We ARE THE VASELINE TEAM MWUAHUHAHAHAHAHHA."He annouced and the other two came over and picked up Sanji and Zoro and tosed them in the back of the ship."

"Now let us go."He finished and they went on the ship to tie them up.

"Shamy, we got to save them." Sunzi swispered to me as i held my arms open from where Sanji use to be.

"No we have to kill them...No one takes Sanji away from me and lives to tell the tail." I was on fire. I took a Mallet out of my back pocket and gave Sunzi a rocket launcher.

"Now, let's role."

We bumbarged into the ship and the men black theme came on from somewhere.

"Don't worry Zoro,I'll save you."Sunzi leaped intoaction and the guy in all red tights caught right in the air and chained her up to. I didn't even get a chance to hit somebody when I got chained up right beside her. The vaseline team's ship sailed off with us at the very bottom.

"I feel like a slave again, WHY DIDN'T YAL DEFEND YAL SELVES?"I yelled.

"We weren't told to."they answered

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE SMART COMMENTS!SO SHUTUP OR TALK TO ME LIKE I'M YO MAMMA, GOT THAT."

"Yes ma'me." they said getting a little scared as my personal fire came up again.

"No time for fighting now,we have to find away to get out of here before we're sacrificed."Sunzi said trying to reach the the rocket launcher I gave her.

"this is going to take a while."Zoro dully said falling asleep.

"This no time to sleep, Zoro, help her gfet the launcher.Man I could use a porn magazine right now."sanji said closing his eyes imagining hot naked girls with gigly breast skipping around him.

"Stop drooling before you drown us." I said kicking him in the leg.

to be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3 the monkey

In town

"We got everything, so we can go now people have been taking pictures and yanky my hair for the whole time we've been here." Ussopp complained caring all of the food and washing materials.

"Yes, we have everything now we need to go back to them girls and see if there done doing god know's what to Sanji and Zoro." Nami irritately said quickening her pace to where they had put there ship, The GoingMerry.

"They are fine, but i won't if i have to watch that person throw away more of that cake." Luffy rushed over to this stranger and pushed him out his chair. He started stuffing his face with the cheesecake and licked the plate clean. "Yo dude, that was totally incall for." the stranger said looking mad as hell. Luffy growled at him. "Your crazy man" The guy said running off as he ran into ussopp the stuff fly everywhere. He then threw a wade of cash at ussopp and kept running.

Nami caught firstglimspe at it and went crazy. She sniffed the money an put it in her braw then ordered Ussopp to pick it all up.

"Hey look yal a monkey, oh I think he wants us to follow him." Luffy interuppeted Nami and Ussopp yelling like a married couple. They looked at the monkey and he started running in the direction they first had descovered the two girls. they followed him forgeting the pile of goods scattered across the ground.

Back with me and Sunzi

we all hung asleep in the dark layer of are keeping. It had been two strait days yes with luffy that's how long it would take to get their supplies and they had giving up after Sunzi tried to fuse the rocket launcher and the potato in her backpocket together with herself, which was hopeless in the begining.

_Flashback_

_"Okay I have an idea."Sunzi annouced pulling a patato from her backpocket without ripping her arm off to reach it. She stuck it in the rocketlauncher, that she was still holding, and then held it up in the air so it was hovering over her._

_"FUSION"she yelled as a bright light appeared and and then went away. everyone was staring at her since nothing had happen in all._

_"Umm Sunzi this isn't Powerrangers IT'S ONEPEICE."_

_"Why are you yelling." Sunzi asked puzzled._

_"Well for starters, I'm having an episoide, see when I don't get my orange juice and or chocolate I'm alittle like a pregnant woman having mood swings and what makes it worst I have a confession to make." Everyone looked eagerlly at me._

_"Sanji remember when I said I was in love with you?"_

_"No."_

_"Well I am, but I think I may just lust you. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOV-"_

_"OKAY! shutup, so your going to rape me?"_

_"It depends on if we get free, nad if we do I think I might just kill nami instead cause if I can't have you or you won't give me a chance, then that &#$ ain't geting you neither."_

_"your selfish" Zoro said in a this is getting creepy voice._

_"Not really she managed to let Zero go since she couldn't get his armor off. Instead she played mother to jak and secretly feed daxter to him in burger style." Sunzi informed them._

_"You know that's my bussiness." I said crankly._

_"Not if you told me."_

_"I didn't, you was just there."_

End of Flashback

I wouldn't give up though. The guy who was really fast as we learned was Flash sat there watching us.

"Flash, I have a vibrator in my pocket if you want to, you know, entertain yourself while down here." I sanged getting his attention. He walked over toward me and I pointed to where it was. Then as soon as his gaurd was down I kneed him in the jack-uh stick of butter and he fell to his knees in pain. 'Okay now we can get free in peice'

"Uh, I know you don't wan't me to talk to you but do you think you can break my chains. so i can get you all free." I asked Sanji.

"I can just reach the chains around your legs though."

"I know, just do it."

He kick at the chains around my legs and they broke. I kicked my shoes off and then ripped my socks off with my teeth. Then I took the keys that were around the unconcience flash's neck and undid myself with my feet, which I can do in real life, use my feet as hands.

I jumped down and walked out the door leaving them.

"WTF, WHAT ABOUT US SHAMY."Zoro yelled.

"I have to pee, I'm not going to go on myself." I shot back still walking.

2minutes later

"Okay let me-" I was cut off by batman he grabed me and went threw the floor.

"GREAT NOW I HAVE TO GO, GOD CRAMPS CAN'T HOLD IT IN MUCH LONGER." Sunzi started twiching.

"When I get loose I'm so gonna kill your friend."Zoro gritted his teeth like a mad man wait he is mad.

"I never new that she could use her feet as hands, That's sweet maybe I can do that." Sunzi couln't even get her shoe off.

Where has Batman taken me, how long can Sunzi hold it in, will they figure out how to get out and where is the monkey taking Luffy, Nami, and Ussopp.


	4. Chapter 4

_**chap 4**_

Down on the lower lower part of the ship I sat tied to a chair. Batman stood infront of me his hot breath blowing through his mask in my face.

"What do you want and why did you tie me to a chair?" I asked in a slurred voice as if I were drunk. It's from the lack of orange juice.

"I want you to make me some chicken, fried like your mamma makes."He said in his 'I'm secret' voice

"WTF, just because I'm african American with some italian, doesn't mean I like chicken. I know how to make it it's just I hate chicken. I should rip your balls off for saying that." I snaped.

"How bout I let you free if you do and you don't come back here."

"Deal."

Well I was in the kitchen making fried chicken like my ma tought me to.

On the island

Luffy and the others are standing infront of the monkey pointing to to the ship sailing away.

"Oh, that ship has the two girls and Zoro and sanji and the ones who are the owners are going to sacrifice them to some made up god by throwing them off a cliff," Ussopp said in one sentence," We got to save them, come on monkey let's go." Ussopp and the monkey were running on the water.

"Luffy, are we gonna help or what."Nami asked.

"Nope, but I'm gonna eat ant get alittle before we go." Luffy went to a club called 'Boobs in yo face, and Nami was left by herself. See pulled out her Cd player and started playing Missy Elliot. I'm not into rock that much if I lisen to it it's gonna be greenday. yeah I think they are cool. most of the time I listen to smoothjazz.

Back with the monkey

Ussopp got his rockslinger out and shot a firehingy at the ship and it caught on fire. Then he hoped in and ran around until he found 3 smelly humans changed to a wall scurming. sunzi looked up and her eyes met with the monkey's and a smile streched across her face.

"SEPTIMUS!and ussopp...yeah."She screeched then wispered

"Yep the one and only,." He said proudly making it a big deal.

"Shut up and get us down, you idiot."Zoro shouted.

Ussopp started sniffing then he sighed,"I SMELL...CHICKEN!." ussopp went right pass them down stairs.The monkey freed Sunzi and she went down stairs too towards the smell of chicken. Sanji and Zoro were left hanging on the wall about to explode.

"I gonna kill them."Zoro was gritting his teeth again.

"I need to smoke, damn only if i could reach my pocket." Sanji cursed twiching uncontrolably.

"I need a drink, and my swords."

"I'm missing _On with the marraige_ the the best soap, I wanna see what happens to Mary."

"Oh yeah they left off when She was in the room with the prison guy, and he had achohol on his breathe and the door was locked and she was conered."

"You watch soaps?"  
"Tell anyone and you die."

"Whatever."

"So ,uh, when you think they going to come back and get us?"

"Soon as all the chickens gone."

"What's with people and chicken."

"Who are you to talk cook."

"Hey, a real man cooks."

_Down in the kitchen_

Everyone was sitting at the table eatting and fighting over the chicken. While everyone was stuffing there face I snook off, to the top to get Zoro and Sanji free. As I went up I heard voices,

Voice 1:oh do it harder,harder

Voice 2: I'm trying it's just I've never done this before

V1: try taking those tight pants off

V2: I can't but you can

V1: That hurts freshboy

I didn't like what I was hearing I ran into the room and saw Sanji bent over trying to break the chain and Zoro trying to get his pants off so he could flex his legs more. Since it looked like something else I took a picture then walked up to them.

"Okay boys I here so move all your body parts out the way cause I lost the keys And my mallets just gonna have to do. Oh yeah I got your swords."I told them, smashing the chains sothey were free.

"finally, lets go kill some fags."

Zoro said, when he got his swords back.

"Yeah, and get a paice of chicken cause yal look so thin I can see your but bones." I chanted pushing them down the stairs.

They landed on there heads then got up. everyone was still at the table eatting some more chicken. Zoro joined but not Sanji.

"I'll never eat someone elses food."He said bitterly.

"YOUR GONNA EAT IT."I yelled taking the chicken breast and shoving it down his throat.

"Okay BATMAN, where's superman?" I grabbed him by the collar.

"he sacrificed himself to the..."

"don't care." I took my mallet and smacked in the face and he went flying.

"SUNZI AND SEPTIMUS, let's roll. this ship is sailing off more and more and I want to get back to shore before I get leg cramps."

Everyone else looked out the giant whole that Ussopp created and look how far they were and began to swim back to the shore.

It's not over yet next chap is the last one so be on your toes.


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is really short cause I was in a rush.

We were all on shore breathing like crazy. Septimus was almost choked by seaweed. A wave carried me away 4 times almost drowning me. Sanji got there first and Zoro had a hard time not loosing his swords and swimming. Ussopp just ran across the water, showoff.

"Where's Luffy? Where's oh there's Nami." I asked trying to get on my feet. "Okay you can have them back, being here is like hell on wheels."I crankily said.

"Wait I not done with Zoro yet, let me just."

"Sunzi, you had your moment now lets go."

"Yes we're free!" They cheered jumping up in the air, They both headed to the nearest gas station or whatever they have in there warped ass world to get beer and a pack of newports.

"How do we get home though,"Sunzi asked holding her monkey.

"Uh, click are heels together, "I answered

"Or we can go through that door that reads way back home, or do we live here.

"No we don't, now lets go through that door."

"But I want to say bye too Zoro don't you want to say bye to Sanji."

"Hell no, I don't like sharing."

"Sharing is caring."

"Don't take my line, Sunzi."

"Please could I say bye."

"Fine, Ussopp come here right quick."

"What do you want, aren't you going to go home?"

"Well I don't want to leave you behind but I have to and my friend she wants to say goodbye to zoro but they just went in a bar that we aren't age apropriate for so could you um go get him for me."

"kiss up."Sunzi muttered.

"hhmmmm, only if the next time you come here I own you."

"WHAT!"

"Do you want to go home."

"Alright, but there will be no next time."

"Right, Everygirl who meet's Ussopp always comes back."

"Ego maniac, And what girls have you met."

"...Tons"

"Lying again, you can't help your self."

_12 mins. later._

ussopp was back with a drunk Zoro and a high Sanji, even though he could of left him. Ussopp pushed Zoro towards sunzi. Zoro looked up at her and then the monkey. He leant in to give the monkey a kiss and threw up on Sunzi. The monkey got real scared and hid in one of my pockets. as for Sanji, he was humping a coconut. Ussopp walked up to me and stuck a barcode on my forehead. It was brown, I hate the color brown. So I grabbed a grossed out Sunzi and went through the door. The last thing that was heard was Zoro yelling, "Hey you still have my shirt." and we were gone..

There is going to be a sequel people so it's not really over.R&R


End file.
